quasi-neutral

i looked up spontaneous human combustion today. because i felt sick inside.
sick like jello
i felt movements without directions.
arterial spasms
and
some weird shaking
that i cannot place.

i thought, early on, that i might implode and be that black hole.
the dark matter from being stretched so thin.
and the i looked up spontaneous human combustion.
the man, the writer. who is a great knowledge on these sorts of things.
dictated notes to an assistant
about plasma states.
how a body like mine.
with it's untrained wandering
and listless mindsphere
can and will spontaneously explode because the bioplasma can and will separate itself in to cells. factions. moving faster than imagination. and in tandem. one poorly produced, black and white image lives with these paragraphs as proof. two legs and one charred easy chair. burn marks on the ceiling and floor and two adjoining walls in a corner where some wandering mind once sat. jumping from realism to rationalism to nihilism to romanticism to sarcasm. without proper training or restraint.

i am going to im/explode.
i am always in tandem.
which according to the man. the writer.
is never good.