losing losing loss.

and so it goes: small things sit on your mind like toads; vague memories of childhood, a first love, the way a drug feels, the immortality bravado of youth, a sadness that begs for wallowing and the ghosts of friends and family. everyday starts of with the intent of keeping an even keel, but something always comes along and knock the whole system off balance. so you just aim for gray. always gray.